Want A Better Sex Life? Banish the King Size Bed

A newly married couple recently asked me how they could have a better sex life.  And my advice to them was simple. Don’t buy a king size bed.  They were shocked at my response. There could have been tons of other tips that I could have given them.  Never go to bed angry with each other.  Find five minutes every day to hold each other. Schedule sex dates every week etc..The list goes on and on.

Why banishing the king size bed will help you have a better sex life:

• Bigger is not always better.  I know this goes against the grain of American consumerism.  We are socialized to strive for a bigger house, car, job etc.  But when it comes to sleeping arrangements with your partner….Downsizing is the way to go.
• A King Size bed can become a refuge and that is not good for one’s sex life.  There is literally too much real estate between you and your partner. And that means it is way too easy for you to both essentially be sleeping in your own twin bed.
• Keeping touch alive in your relationship will help ensure that you will have a better sex life.  When you are sleeping in a King Size bed you can literally go the entire night without ever having to touch each other.  I know…I did this for years in my marriage.  Sleep in a Queen Size bed and you will find that it is very challenging not to feel the heat of each other’s body while you sleep.  More likely you will find yourself frequently waking up entwined in each other’s arms and legs.
• The easy ability to put distance between you and your partner in a King Size bed increases the likelihood that you will go to sleep angry with each other after a fight.  That energy is much more alive and present if you need to share a smaller physical space and will often create the impetus for conflicts to be resolved before you go to sleep.
• If you have children, King Size beds encourage the bedroom turning into the playroom or living room.  While we all love to have those snuggles in bed with our kids, it’s also important to create some boundaries around the marital bed.  When the bed turns into the living room couch, it does change the energy in the room and often takes the sizzle out of the bedroom.
• King Size beds can stifle creativity.  I know that they are fun to play on but be creative with your play spaces.  Try the floor or the shower or the kitchen table.  Finding new and interesting places to have sex will help you have a better sex life!