Please join me on Facebook Live every Friday at 10 am!

We hope you join us Live for Talking Love, Sex, and Intimacy with Xanet on Facebook Live

You can also watch our past episodes here.

Talking Love, Sex, and Intimacy with Xanet Facebook Group

Join this amazing community!


Get The Guide

Coming Soon… Orgasmic Bliss Program

Click Here to get on the “Wait List” for my upcoming Orgasmic Bliss Program.


 Embrace all of you and learn how to truly love yourself
Rid yourself of limiting beliefs and shame around your sexuality
Deeply connect with and listen to your body
Learn new Tools and skills to ignite your love life

This course is only held 3 times per year.  Register for our wait list to receive emails notifying you when the next course starts!

Recommended Resources

This list is hardly complete.  There are hundreds of books about sex on Amazon but these are the ones that I keep on my bookshelves. I also would refer you to Joan Price’s comprehensive list of resources in her book The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50.



Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuseby Rachel Grant

Rachel Grant has numerous outstanding resources available on her website: rachelgrantcoaching.comincluding Podcasts, a very active and large Facebook Group, “Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse”, and group and individual support.


Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Traumaby Stacey Haines, Cleis Press (2007)


In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodnessby Peter Levine (North Atlantic Books 2010)


Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Bodyby David Emerson & Elizabeth Hopper (North Atlantic Books, 2011)


The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Traumaby Boessel van Der Kolk (Penguin Books, 2015 Reprint)


Waking The Tiger: Healing Traumaby Peter Levine (North Atlantic Books 1997)


Recommended Trauma Therapies/Workshops


Somatic Experiencing, www.traumahealing.orgfor a list of certified practitioners in the US and internationally


EMDR International a list of certified EMDR practitioners in the US and internationally


Smart Body Smart Mind, www.irenelyon.comA comprehensive online workshop for healing the nervous system with advanced SE practitioner Irene Lyons.





Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.  (Simon and Schuster 2015).


Our Bodies Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era,by Boston Woman’s Health Collective (Touchstone 2017).


Sex for One: The Joy of Self Lovingby Betty Dodson, Ph.D.  (Harmony 1996)


She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, by Ian Kerner (William Morrow Paperbacks 2009).


Vagina, by Naomi Wolf (Virago Press 2013)


Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Treasureby Sheri Winston (Mango Garden Press 2009)


Recommended Workshops and Classes


The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Orgasmic Bliss:  Xanet Pailet,

Body Talk Workshop: Betty Dodson, Ph.D,

Jade Pleasure: Layla Martin,

The Yoni Temple Retreat: Ashley Apple,





Mothering from the Center: Tapping Your Body’s Natural Energy for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting,by Tami Lynn Kent (Atria Books 2013).


Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kidsby Cathy Winks (New World Library 2004)





The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain—or Regain—a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Lifeby Joan Price (Cleis Press 2014)


The Secret Pleasures of Menopause: A Guide to Creating Vibrant Health through Pleasureby Christiane Northrup, M.D. (Hay House 2009)


The Hormone Cure: Reclaim Balance, Sleep and Sex Drive, by Sarah Gottfried, M.D., (Scribner 2014)


The Female Brain by Louanne Brizandine, M.D., (Harmony 2007)


Tantric Sex and Menopause: Practices for Spiritual and Sexual Renewalby Diane Richardson (Destiny Books 2018)





Guide To Getting It Onby Paul Joannides (Goofy Foot Press 2013)


The Little Black Book of Sex Positionsby Dan and Jennifer Bartichi (Skyhorse Publishing 2013)


Science for Sexual Happiness:  A Guide to Reclaiming Erotic Pleasures, by Caffyn Jesse (Eros Spirit 2016)


Succulent Sex Craft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practiceby Sheri Winston (Mango Garden 2014)


There are a number of really fun and creative sex phone apps for couples:





69 Places

Dirty Game—Hot Truth or Dare





The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Loversby Margot Anand (Jeremy P. Tarcher Inc, 1989)


The Art of Everyday Ecstasy: The Seven Tantric Keys for Bringing Passion, Spirit and Joy into Every Part of Your Lifeby Margot Anand (Harmony 1999)


The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Lifeby Margot Anand (TarcherPerigree 1996)


The Couples Kama Sutra: The Guide to Deepening Your Intimacy with Incredible Sex by Elizabeth McGrath (Sonoma Press 2016)


Tantric Sex for Women: A Guide for Lesbian, Bi, Hetero and Solo Loversby Christa Schulte (Krug & Schadenberg 2005)


Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Centuryby Barbara Carrellas (Celestial Arts 2007)


Recommended Tantra Schools


Ecstatic Living Institute


Source School of Tantra Yoga




Urban Tantra




Ecstatic Living Institute  In addition to offering Tantra workshops, ELI also offers sexuality workshops such as Ecstatic Lover (created by Xanet Pailet and Kai Wu), Ecstatic Touch, and Ecstatic Relationships.


Human Awareness Institute www.hai.orgOffers sexuality workshops for individuals and couples


Holistic Pelvic Care, www.wildfeminine.comOffers training and a list of approved practitioners.


Sexological Body Work, www.sexologicalbodyworkers.orgOffers a list of certified sexological bodyworkers in the US and Internationally.


Somatica Institute,  Offers training in the Somatica® Method of Sex and Intimacy Coaching, Couples Workshops, and Individual Coaching by Certified Somatica coaches.

Spread the love