I owe You an Apology

Dear Readers:

I owe you an apology.  

I’m sorry that it’s been almost two months since I’ve written a blog post, or otherwise been present as a sex and intimacy coach.

This has never happened to me in the almost 10 years since I’ve had my business.

The truth is that the election here in North Carolina became my priority and I put all of my extra effort and energy into it. 

It’s like I had two full time jobs for the last six weeks and barely enough head space to serve my clients. 

Everything and everyone else suffered–cooking myself healthy meals, getting enough sleep, finding time for my partner. 

And yes even my sex life. 

I found myself constantly stressed and exhausted, with a very low libido.

I could enjoy sex when my partner offered to please me, but I struggled to give pleasure back to him. 

I simply did not have the energy or the motivation to put myself out there.

I felt terribly guilty about everything. 

Not connecting with you, not writing a blog post, not responding on my Facebook group, not wanting to have sex or just spend time with my partner.

My “negative Nancy” was being very judgmental and harsh with Xanet, even though I kept telling myself..”this is all for a good cause”. 

During those weeks, it was hard to find compassion for myself and give myself permission to let some things go, lovingly. 

As the weeks rolled by, I got myself into even more of a negative spiral. 

I started comparing myself to some of my colleagues who religiously have their blog post come out every single week chock full of good information. 

I could barely keep up with emails from clients. 

I’m telling you all this not because I want sympathy or forgiveness. 

Rather I want to share with you what I imagine you’ve experienced at times, as well.  

Singular, tunnel vision, with only one goal in mind. 

For me, it was the election.  

For you it may be taking care of a child or a parent, moving to a new home, dealing with a loss, starting a new job, recovering from Covid or illness and a myriad of other possibilities.

The bottom line was complete overwhelm of your nervous system and the inability to focus on anything else, other than meeting basic survival needs.

I want to give you, what I could not give myself. 

Total permission to just allow everything else to fall by the wayside so that you can focus all your energies on the task at hand.

Absolving you of any and all guilt of not doing enough for others or being enough.

I want you to obliterate the “Super Woman or Super Man” myth. 

You are not made of steel, you are not faster than a speeding bullet, and you can not jump tall buildings with a single bound. 

You are human. You are vulnerable. 

You do your best and that is all you can ask of yourself.  

Let that be enough.