Imagine, if you will, your sex life as represented by a volcanic island. Following an eruption, the terrain is lush and beautiful; pleasure abounds.
But what if your particular volcano of desire hasn’t erupted in a while? Maybe for centuries?
The soil may start to become barren. The greenery dies back. The sun parches the land.
Areas around and on volcanoes tend to be especially fertile because volcanic rock and ash contain elements such as magnesium and potassium. The ash acts as an immediate fertilizer, and weathering volcanic rock breaks down slowly, helping to form soil that is rich and nutritive.
So, while the eruption itself is sometimes violent, after the pressure is released, the result will nourish, enrich, and re-enliven the area around it.
Thanks for the Science Lesson Xanet, But What Do Volcanoes Have To Do With Sex?
What happens with volcanoes correlates perfectly to what happens in our sex lives!
Your sex life may be lovely, pleasurable, fine… but if it’s seeming to lack luster, if desire starts to taper off, if it feels more like a chore or obligation, if, god forbid, it starts to feel barren, then it’s time to check in with your interior self.
What does your hot, gooey magma consist of? What’s your core sexual desire? And how do you bring that desire to the surface, so that it can nourish you?
What’s a Core Desire?
A core desire is what we want, wayyyy down deep. Sometimes we’re not even conscious of it. Often it’s kept secret, hidden away. Perhaps when we tried to express the desire or have that need met, we were shamed. So we cover it up, act like that’s not that important to us.
Because of shame and denial, unearthing core desires can sometimes take a little work.
Questions to Help You Identify Your Core Desires
When you masturbate, what scenes do you imagine?
If you like porn, what flavor of porn do you seek out?
Are there any erotic scenes from books or movies that have stuck in your mind for a long time?
Close your eyes and imagine peak pleasure. What does that look like for you?
Consider WHY That’s a Core Desire
Once you’ve identified what your core desires are, spend some time reflecting on why they’re such strong desires. For some people, core desires reflect wounds from their childhood. For others, they might be sexual desires that others shamed.
Tap Into the Desire(s)
Lastly, if you haven’t yet explored your core desires, or if you haven’t done so in a while, find a way to do so.
Let your own personal volcano explode!
For more on this subject, I highly recommend taking my course, Reclaim Your Desire, in which I spend a whole module helping you explore your core desires and understand why these things turn you on, and why tapping into this knowledge can help you re-awaken your sex life.
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