Frequently Asked Questions

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What’s the difference between a sex coach and a sex therapist?
The main difference is the approach that I use in my role as a coach.  Sex therapists provide more traditional “talk therapy” which definitely has its place. But sex and intimacy happens in and between bodies, not in your head. In fact, being in your head is one of the reasons that you disconnect from your sexuality or your partner.
When things aren’t working in our sexual relationships, we need to find new ways to act, communicate and connect. Often we need to learn new skills; slowing things down, different types of touch, how to escalate an intimate encounter, asking for what you want.  These skills can best be learned in an
experiential interactive manner. You wouldn’t teach someone how to drive a car without actually giving them real life road experience. So how can you expect to learn new sex and intimacy skills without practicing them and getting real time feedback?
Another crucial difference is how I show up. Most therapists hold boundaries around their own vulnerability with clients. I view each client as an opportunity to create a new intimate relationship where we can both be open and vulnerable and practice relationship skills with each other.

 

What happens in a coaching session?

Each session is unique and geared towards the specific issue that we are working with or what you walk in with that day.  Sessions typically involve a combination of embodiment practices, an interactive, experiential component and some talking and processing.

Sometimes you will learn a new skill and have the opportunity to practice it with me and get immediate and honest feedback.

I have a very large toolbox and will draw upon exercises and practices from many different areas and modalities based on your unique needs.

 

How long are the sessions?

The work that I do is very deep so my sessions run from 75 minutes to two hours, if bodywork is involved.  Couples sessions are 90 minutes. I also offer day long intensives for those travelling from out of town or those who want to accelerate the process.

 

What’s the frequency of the coaching sessions?

I do not offer single or one off sessions, except for the initial consultation to assure that we are both comfortable working together. Most of my clients see me between 2-3 times per month for a minimum of six months.

After working with hundreds of clients I know how important it is to first lay the groundwork, establish comfort and safety, and master the building blocks of sexual embodiment before taking a deep dive into sexuality and intimacy.

 

Where are sessions held?

I’m very flexible!  You can see me in person at my spacious office in Marin or in the privacy of your own home via Skype.

Do I have to take my clothes off?

No!  Definitely not!  Everyone leaves their clothes on during the coaching sessions. If we decide to do bodywork, then you will be appropriately covered and I will use gloves for any intimate touching. I always keep my clothes on and abide by professional and ethical standards.

 

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