Body Shame: Not just for Women

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body shame penis size

There is a bit of a myth that only women experience body shame.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  The Guardian recently published an article, “Me and My Penis: 100 Men Reveal All”, an interview with Laura Dodsworth, author of “Manhood”, a new book about men and sexuality.  The author photographed 100 men’s penises and then talked to them about body image issues and sexuality.

It’s a fascinating article and I’m anxious to read the book, which will be published in mid-June.  What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought. What really moved me is how much that shame and inadequacy had bled into different parts of their life.” She said many were teased as children about their penis and never recovered from it.

As a sex and intimacy coach, this does not surprise me in the least.  I’ve shared information about average penis size and what women think about penis size.  Internet pornography definitely causes lots of body shame.  Men compare their absolutely normal size penis to the girth and length of porn stars, which are digitally enhanced or injected with drugs to increase their erection.

Where does Body Shame come from?

Most body shame does happen from childhood teasing.  I often see this in men who were late bloomers and were embarrassed in the locker room about their penis size.

One of my clients, with a perfectly beautiful more than average size penis, would often place his hands over his crotch, when talking about sex with his wife. He also reverted to a little boy voice.  This was a childhood protective mechanism to defend against his feelings of body shame and penis inadequacy.

In my own personal experience, men with smaller penises are often much better lovers.  A recent lover of mine did have a smaller than average penis.  But the combination of his oral skills and the way he had learned to use his cock for G Spot stimulation took me over the moon.

Makes sense right?  A man with a big penis can get lazy, thinking that all women want is hard and fast thrusting.  Men who can’t rely on that have to get smarter about women’s arousal and really learn how to use all of their other tools.

What’s been your experience with body shame?  Please comment below!

One Response to "Body Shame: Not just for Women"
  1. WG says:

    I’m one of those guys that was penis shamed when I was young.
    The girl I lost my virginity to had several lovers before me who were very well endowed.
    She was raped and lost her virginity when she was 16 to a black man that was huge. She swears it was 10” long.
    When we first had sex one of the first things she said was how much she wanted to have sex with a guy that has a small penis. Wow, that wasn’t a great thing to hear, especially when I was about to lose my virginity.
    Now, I don’t think I have a small vajra but those words still linger in the back of my head and I still think I should be bigger.
    I’ve read about the various methods to enhance the size of my vajra through surgery, special elixirs, drugs , exercises and massage.
    I’m sure many of us guys have done this.
    If they really worked we would know, right?
    If I was only 1/2” longer my vajra would be so much more desireable or if my girth was 1” greater my partner would find me more desirable and I would be able to pleasure her better.
    We are programmed from an early age that bigger is better, no matter what it refers to.
    Now, back to my exercises (:

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